“And in the end, we were all just humans, drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness.”
― Christopher Poindexter
Wars have been fought, sonnets have been written, tears have been shed – all in the name of love. This eternal emotion comes with a lot of expectations and disappointments. True love is hard to find and harder to keep – which is why almost 50% marriages end in divorce.
1. Butterflies In The Tummy
We often associate love with the butterflies in the tummy and the intoxicating feeling that comes with it. The fire of pure passion that arises when you start seeing someone is unparalleled. It is when a call from them can change your day, you start glowing and laugh a lot more. You spend most of your time daydreaming about your prince charming. This is the honeymoon phase which all the couples enjoy the most. You will feel the world is a better place and the sense of adventure will drive you crazy.
2. The Serious Step Ahead
You two are made for each other. The whirlwind romance has now given way to a more matured love. You think of taking the relationship beyond movie dates and fun parties. Moving in, getting married, having a baby, paying the rent or buying a house – all this comes into the picture. Of Course there is love and it is much more serious. Sex is more meaningful and often rushed if you had a kid. This is adulting at its best.
This is the most difficult phase of love where you think it has lost that magical touch. Your life seems to be a cycle of same events – getting up, working, coming home and doing pending chores, taking care of the baby, all without an ounce of appreciation. You forget when you last cuddled or held hands. You feel you have been taken for granted by your partner and argue more often. You no longer harbour rosy dreams but regret having missed out on singlehood. It often becomes unbearable and many people give up at this point.
4. Delving Deep
If you manage to pass the third phase, your relationship will reach new heights. You’ve already put your partner down from the pedestal and will achieve greater understanding of their true self. The realisation that they too are humans with dreams and issues will help you accept them for who they are. After knowing the fissures and the frustrations, you can now work towards mending them one by one.
Rediscover yourself and face the world as a team. Love is not perfect but it is not a battlefield. Understand and accept.